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Saturday, May 21, 2011

Interesting quotes from classrooms - I

Whether I pay attention to what is being taught in the class or not, I pay attention to all the interesting dialogues from professors and keep a note of it :)

Here are some of them that I noted down over past one year @ IIMB. Some are funny, some need the context to understand, some I still don't understand and some are thought provoking....

Microeconomics Professor: You can bring anything to the exam hall; its an open book test, but those may not have anything to do with the test!

Microeconomics Professor: If you are not good in maths; don't worry. Einstein was also not; If you are good in maths, you are mediocre :p

Microeconomics Professor: I am giving you an empty threat - exam will be tough; what is my payoff?

FINAC Professor: We will learn GAAP completely including Games All Accountants Play

Statistics Professor: "Finally, it's a stat exam. What's the worst that can happen? Your score is a random variable. Have a good time!"

"In India, even if you are a one in a million kind of guy,there are a thousand more just like you!!" - Courtesy: Prof. Shankar Venkatgiri, IIMB

OB Professor, "Contracts are like bikinis; they show all  exciting parts, yet cover all critical parts!"

MANAC Professor (after postponing a mid term), "I felt happy to see some of you enjoying the cultural program thoroughly. I felt  I would have done a great mistake if I had kept the exam on Sunday. As  professors we not only perform through you all, but also enjoy through you all."

Entrepreneurship Professor, "I am not here to hear you intellectual masturbation; give some viable solution!"

Law Professor(mocking cyber wing): Police may even take printer & power cord; you never know where the evidence of a cyber crimer is :p

QM Professor: Visualizing in higher dimensions take years, you can add 1 dimension in 10 years; now I can visualize in 4th dimension!

OB Professor: Our five year plans are masterpieces of fiction!

OB Professor: If you can get into a PSU, even six of you can get into an ambassador :p

OB Professor: Why is the AC not working in this class? I thought only Government is bankrupt; has IIM also become bankrupt?

CorpFin Professor: I am a humorless plain person; I guess money make all in this profession so!

CorpFin Professor: At 11:45, the doors will be closed because I have a concentration retention disorder and people coming into class after I start is distracting for me!

CorpFin Professor (recalling an old joke during his IIM days):

   Professor: Good Morning Class
   IIMC Students: Good Morning Sir!
   IIMB Students: Good Morning yaaawn..
   IIMA Students: will write down it in their notebooks :p

OB Professor: For the next 10 weeks, you are stuck with me; I am stuck with you, so lets make the best use of it!

OM Professor (after giving a 'get out!' for using mobile phone): I am sorry; I run my class like a Hitler!

OB Professor: Genes matter; Childhood matters; Environment matters; But ultimately, you matters the most!

Strategy Professor: Presentations should convey insights not how much work and effort you have put in!! (not exact words)

For the second part, read Interesting quotes from classrooms - II


  1. Good observations Vijay!! Brought back some old forgotten memories. Hope we will have more such interesting quotes in the next 1.5 years.

  2. thank u Milana...true...wish the same....I am sure it will be with more demanding profs lined up :)

  3. Great collection Vijay! Really enjoyed reading it, it almost sounded like that prof. was saying the qoute :p

    Adding some more what I can remember....

    OM Professor: "Does it matter? ... All I am saying is...."

    OB Professor: "On an average we are better than the average"
    "I want to hear from you... your views, opinions.."
    "Have you read the readings...so, shall we have a quiz..."

    QM II Professor: "This is the crux of the problem... It is simple yet non-trivial..."
    "Dada, Tussi great ho!!!"

    Finac Professor: "What ever you want you can do... but, Consistency is important"
    "You may write down those points in your notebook, there will be underlining by pen, pencil and highlighting by different colored markers.. but how much is inside (referring to head)?

  4. thank you very much Nithin....how can I miss "Dada, Tussi great ho!!!" ;)